Favor vs. Flavor: A Little Story About Putting Down the Pizza and Learning to Listen to His Still Small Voice

Without going into great detail (details will probably come in a later post), I'd like to share with you an experience I had today.

I got a phone call this morning that kinda shook me up...not necessarily in a bad way...just a way that I wasn't expecting.

Totally.threw.me.for.a.loop.

It was in regard to something that I have been mulling over for quite some time...no matter which direction I seem to go in my mind with this "situation", I just can't seem to get peace about it.

You say to pray about it...

...and I have.

But...

for as much as I have prayed about it, I haven't really been waiting on the Lord for His answer (to be read, still small voice).

I've taken the ball from Him and I've been trying to dribble it on my own.

Dude, I am no Harlem Globetrotter, let me tell ya.

My fear makes me stumble...I'm clumsy...I travel...I hog the ball.

I allow others to foul me...


But...here's what I haven't been doing...I haven't been passing the ball to God.

Oh, I've tried passing it to friends and family...asking them to dribble it for a while...asking for their prayers and their input...and their PAT ANSWER for my life.

I've begged and pleaded with others to help me make a decision...well, what would YOU do, I'd say.

So, I'm an idiot. Noted.

Anyway, I am rabbit trailing...here's my point...TODAY, I decided to Seek His Face. I decided to look for His answer. Cause...hello...it is the only one that makes any sense. It is the ONLY one that will make everything okay. It is the ONLY one that will bring peace.

And so, I began with prayer...

And with reading my Bible...that book is FULL of answers...sometimes I'm just too stupid and stubborn to read them for myself. Again, I ask others...fallibles. Not perfect like my God.

So silly.

I prayed over my Bible..."Lord, you know I don't have a lot of patience. And at this point, I don't have a lot of time either. So, I am going to open up my Bible now Lord and I need you to point me to a SPECIFIC verse or passage that YOU want me to hear today. Okay?"

Oh, by the way, before I prayed over my Bible, I prayed for myself...I asked God to forgive me of my sin and to open my heart to HIS LEADING. I want what HE wants because I know that is the ONLY WAY TO PEACE. And peace is what I long for. Especially in this "situation" that weighs so heavily on my shoulders and heart.

Anyway, after I prayed, I took a deep breath and cracked open my Bible.

Luke 8:8b -15 (In reference to the parable of the sower in verses 1 - 8a)

vs. 8b "He who has ears to hear, let him hear."

vs. 9  His disciples asked him what this parable meant. 

vs. 10  He said, "The knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of God has been given to you, but to others I speak in parables, so that, " 'though seeing, they may not see; though hearing, they may not understand.'

vs. 11  "This is the meaning of the parable: The seed is the word of God.

vs. 12  Those along the path are the ones who hear, and then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved.

vs. 13  Those on the rock are the ones who receive the word with joy when they hear it, but they have no root. They believe for a while, but in the time of testing they fall away.

vs. 14  The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life's worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature.

vs. 15  But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop.

Did the Lord speak to me through those words? Uh...yeah. I don't think that he could have been more clear.

The problem is not that he doesn't speak to me. The problem is that I.don't.listen. 


That is because he's usually saying something that I don't wanna hear.


I also allow distractions and the devil to "take away the word from my heart".


Case in point?

While I was reading my Bible, I suddenly remembered that the kids did not finish their lunch.

I, on the other hand, had finished mine and wasn't hungry.

But hello...I mean, they had pizza...I could go for some pizza dipped in ranch dressing, right?

Yes.

Yes, I could.

I walked over to the dining room, picked up a piece of pizza and took a bite.

And then I heard it...

That still small voice.

"Jen, put down the pizza. You aren't even hungry." 

And then came another voice...

"Oh my word, it's only a little slice of pizza, what's it gonna hurt?" "It is so tasty!"

Then the still small voice said something that I hope stays with me for a VERY long time...

"Jen, how do you expect me to speak to you about the big things when you won't even listen to me on the little things?" 

So...I put down the pizza and walked away. Hard as that was because food has become somewhat of a go to when I am freaking out about life's decisions.

Pizza in place of peace.

Flavor in place of favor.

So, I'm an idiot. Noted.

But God is faithful. And when we listen to his voice, he is pleased. So often I shut him out because I am a very impatient person. I want answers and I want them yesterday.

Only He knows what is best though and only He can grant me peace.

Pizza isn't going to give me answers.

Confession: I look to food for answers A LOT. It's a control thing. I feel very out of control in my life (especially right now) and eating makes me feel in control? I know it sounds stupid.

For those of you who do not have this issue, it probably sounds even worse than stupid.

But I'm okay with that. My life isn't about you.

My life is about me. And I'm a mess sometimes. THAT is honest.

I also honestly want to put God at the center of my life. But more often than not, I don't.

I fail more than I succeed so in order to stay sane, I have to revel in the few successes...

Like today...

Today, I gave Him control. It was hard but I know it was worth it.

He doesn't ever promise that this life will be easy. Not once. Read the Bible and weep.

Life will be hard. He does tell us that.

Thankfully, he also gives us plenty of ways to make it a little easier on ourselves...

Like #1 - TRUST HIM.

LISTEN TO HIS STILL SMALL VOICE.

If you'd shut up and die to yourself already, you'd hear it.

Chances are, he's been talking to you all along...

You just don't listen. I know this because neither do I.

XO